Sigh!!

Here I am sitting in class, it is weird, it is miserable, I don’t know why I am sitting in class. Somehow I feel wasted, and screwed. My mind doesn’t work, my heart doesn’t pound anymore.. I was living, someone told me last night I need to live again. Where is all the vigor? Where has all my interest gone? I feel , I can’t put it in words… I feel weak, and completely bored with life. I feel like I don’t want to survive, I want this course to get over… I thought MBA was the best time in someone’s life, for me it is turning out to be the worst. I cannot seem to figure out what is going wrong.. I somehow can… It seems pointless. Life’s a bitch… I can’t get sleep, it takes me an hour to fall asleep after lying down, the smiles are fake, the smiles are a cover for what is inside – I feel I have no one who understands me… Everyone around me seems to be running ahead at a faster pace than I am, everyone around me seems to be charging ahead, and look at me stuck where I am… it feels more bad, it feels worse, just an addition to my woes. God! When will this end… This is not me.. This is so not me.. I somehow miss my life, I wish I could turn back time… Sigh L

???

I came to this course with great energy... I feel I am not doing justice to the course.. I feel I am doing nothing, and I am wasted.. there's something missing, I know what it is, which is out of my hands and control...Sigh...

I hate tennis...

Game, set and match... it is the end... it is... and i dont like it one bit...

Nameless...

Today is a holiday,I am groggy... I woke up... an I have a weird thought up my mind - Whenever you are close to someone, and they try pushing you away from them with whatever they do... you end up getting closer to them. Fact of life being, you never can run away from things you don't want to.

:O

I dont know why I am writing this post, probably the MBA education is getting a little too over my head... You know what, I was sitting in class today missing my friends and few more people in life who would make me smile any single day. The chosen few who would make me smile and bring life into me any single day. A person who I would do everything for, I dont want to take names, but the person would definitely know who I am talking about. There are times in life, when we do good things and great things, but life still feels so incomplete without those people. The person who would keep me going all the time, life feels so wasted without them so meaningless. God Bless them with all happiness and care and love. I would just wait again and again till i talk to them the next time.

What do I say??

I am missing a voice... Its weird... I am zonked... Its weird when you have no control over decisions, and there is not much you can do!!!

Life and its state in trance...!!!

So here I am, today being the 23rd of July... In four days is my mom's birthday...I hope i continue to remember it for the next four days cos this has been striking me in spurts... the work load is high... I need a break....Multiple people around me with multiple emotions...

I am just happy, plain happy... my life is good... very good... things are settling, I just need to get my acads in place... I know i can still do better...

The only thing that worries me is the emotions of people around me... One of them is very very tensed... very occupied.... one is very happy for her friends, one is confused with trivial issues... the question lies... how do I help all of them keeping my emotions intact??? Hope for the best... I know each emotions relates to one person... and the persons will know when they read this....

MBS is great, the term is going to end... there is a week and half remaining... there are loads of exams... I cant wait for the next term to get started.... I cant believe a quarter of my course is already over :O...

My new high....

I love this song....
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?'
Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine
.In mine when I'm asleep.And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Rollercoaster continues...

It’s been close to 3 months since I have blogged. Life has changed, thrown challenges at me over the last three months. The good have become bad, the bad have become good, things that I thought would work, didn’t, and things that didn’t , did… My business school has been a great place-we have had a lot of fun over the last 3 months. Life is a rollercoaster, a fucking bad one…. The strongest survive and the weak perish… The value of the strength of the mind has been realized. It has been a real interesting time. Life changes and the need to adapt to changes is important. I miss my parents today, I haven’t spoken to them at length ever since I joined this course – Life does so much that you never find time for people who actually love you and actually stand by your side. In fact the ones that stand by you are the ones you hardly see. This post comes across with a sense of belief, resonance and character. The worst is over, the best is yet to come... I have made great buddies, adds to the list of my ever increasing list of friends… To the MBS fraternity…. Cheers!!!!!

The move on....

It was just about 2 weeks back when I blew my head off on Anubhav and Srikant, when they weren’t letting me sleep at 3 in morning. It was 1 week back when I was having a heated discussion with Anubhav on their decision to rent a new apartment, it was 2 days back when I was giving dada my usual gyaan. Life is a game… I used to hate, love my roommates, I used to get very very annoyed with them. I used to laugh at them… laugh with them… advise them, take advise from them…
My life is moving to a different level, I have moved to my relative’s place in Mumbai, I am going to wuit my company, this is my last week at work, I have left my apartment, I have this weird feeling within me… I miss the time I spent with them, though we didn’t spend too much of it… I miss staying with the boys… Its true when they say, you realise the value of people only when they are not with you.... Cheers guys - thanks for adding another eventful chapter in my life....

Bizarre Thoughts!!!

Neha and I had an out of the ordinary dialogue on relationships. That popped up a subject up my mind. What does it take to find the correct match???

Chennai Trip - Second Leg... The final one..

I leave today.... with a heavy heart.. my Chennai trip comes to an end... I did practically nothing on this trip as there were a very few people here... and those few were busy working... The little i went out was to the Bessi beach with Anusha and Diksha on friday night... there are more beggars and sleazy people than sane homo sapiens on the beach... I probably had the nicest drive that night recollecting old Mumbai memories with an ex-mumbaite :) the jain lady... I met up with my college buds yesterday i.e. Saturday... caught a couple of drinks with them...
My Mom left to coimbatore last night, I dont know why I had mixed emotions.. I was feeling a little sad :O... probably cos she left before I did an i probably wouldnt be making it back to Chennai for a long time... It was a weird emotion which I cannot describe in words... That sums up my trip... It was a good one, I think finally i spent quality time with my parents :) ... Something that they always expected me to do over 2 years now.... I have about 24 hours to recollect my thoughts... get set for Patni Computer Systems day after ... SIgh :O

Chennai Trip - First Leg

So I am finally at home... I reached Chennai safe and sound, on time, on Friday night... My mum also arrived on time... thankfully... I spent friday night chatting with my folks till about 2 in the morning... Saturday was ok... I didnt do much, I visited dad's office and got prepared for the party and pooja which we were going to have on the 18th... I was at the airport in the evening with Manish to pick up Mr. and Mrs. Bhatnagar - Dad's friends for close to 30 years... - They are Shikha's Mausa and Mausi... We were also surprised by Dad's other friends, Ramdas Uncle and Cauthy Aunty who had come from Muscat just for this occasion.... Later that night I headed to Zara's with Neha, Srujana, Prithvi and Sonia... I almost ditched the plan that night seeing the number of people at home - I would have gotten murdered by Neha Parnandi, had I not gone that night...
18th Morning started with a pooja - Sudarshana Homum as it is called - I was up early on the 18th morning, and attended the Pooja which went on till about 10 in the morning... Over the afternoon, Manish had come home - we decided to give my dad a bottle of Johnny Walker Swing... We went upto Alsa Mall and bought a bottle of the same... We had close to about 25 people at home in the evening for the get together thaqt followed.. I was lucky to have alcohol from dad's priced possessions - his Glenn Fiddich.... The scene was on till about midnight... and thats how the Sunday ended...
19th Jan was a lazy day... I had not had much of sleep - all family and friends wanted to go Shopping - I decided to stay at home... We all went out for dinner post which I headed to Neha's place for about a couple of hours... She leaves today, all my dad's friends leave today... Froom about 15 people at home 24 hours back - it would be just Dad, Mom, and me..... :(
Half my trip is over... 4 more days to go...

Chennai it is...

I am at Mumbai airport - my flight is in 40 minutes... I have a whirlpool of thoughts running through my head... I could not have had a better homecoming than this time, I meet my mom at the airport- she lands 20 minutes after I do [if our flights are on time]... I am leaving behind a rough patch... a rough ride which was more of an educational lesson... I have learnt so much in Mumbai over 2 years... this place is fantastic, cos you get belted and your transform as an individual...

I cant wait to get home... have Neha ke ghar ka andhra khana... Sambhar and Rasam... I have been craving to have south indian food...this trip has a lot in store... and yeah above all... it is my parents 25th wedding anniversary...

Ok I need to board now... :)

Masakali Matakkali....

Off late, Sonam Kapoor is looking astonishingly pretty n drop dead gorgeous... My pick for the new year - Masakali Matakkali from the Movie DELHI 6

:) :) :)

Shreya Raghavan - my best bud... is engaged... couldnt be much happier.... and what topped it all is, a conference with Shre, Ne and Cheeks :)

New Year Calling.....

Its that time of the year again, new years it is.... I have this lame feeling inside me as if nothing has changed, nothing has altered... it feels the same.... thats not too much of an issue, I have a lot of things up my mind... it is time, for bigger and better things to come... it is time for more problems to prop up, I guess I would be better equipped to handle them. I cant wait to get home, spend some time with folks, the phase between October to now has been a bummer on the personal front... a good week away from Mumbai will give me time off to settle down, consolidate myself and come back with good spirits.... it will also help me spend good quality time with my parents, and my best friends... Neha is in Chennai, I cant wait to see her... there is so much of catching up to do.... Manish is going to be there - as always - my best bud.... and to top it all up, it is my prent's 25th wedding anniversary.... :-). Its a good good package to get to my favorite city - Chennai - my roads, my city...
As for new years it was a good -different from last years - [ spent the night yapping with Neha last years in Chennai] - I met up with my favorite - Shikha Bhatnagar for dinner last night [2nd January]... Shikha, Rita, Srikanth and I spent close to 3 hours dining at Goa Porutgesa.... Further to that Srikanth and I were gifted with a great train ride from Dadar to home at 1 AM in the morning. I guess that was the most pleasant journeys I have had... [the train was empty] :O.... Signing off... Thanks to all beloved ones who made my year in 2008....